For example, Cardinal Bellarmine wrote that in his day, (16th c.) "almost an infinite number" of heretics had been put to death by the church. The faith of Jesus worked for them. Thus, it would not be accurate to dismiss the Christian religion as succesfully practiced by those hundreds of millions of people, as 'imaginary' or some sort of mind game--or, as Marx famously (or infamously) put it, 'an opiate for the masses.'

• 1,500 pastors leave the ministry permanently each month in America.
• 4,000 new churches start each year in America.
• 7,000 churches close each year in America.
• 50% of pastors' marriages end in divorce.
• 70% of pastors continually battle depression.
• 80% of pastors and 85% of their spouses feel discouraged in their roles.
• 95% of pastors do not regularly pray with their spouses.
• 70% of pastors do not have a close friend, confidant, or mentor.
• 50% of pastors are so discouraged they would leave the ministry if they could, but have no other way to make a living.
• 80% of pastors spend under 15 minutes a day in prayer.
• 70% of pastors only study God's Word when preparing a message.
• Nearly 40% of pastors have had an extra-marital sexual affair since entering ministry.
• 80% of seminary graduates who enter ministry will leave the ministry within the first five years.
• 80% of pastors' wives feel their husbands are overworked.
• 80% of the adult children of pastors sought professional help for depression.
• 90% of pastors said their training was inadequate for ministry.
• 85% of pastors report that their biggest problem is dealing with abstinent elders, deacons, worship leaders, worship teams, board members, and associate pastors.
• 90% of pastors said the hardest thing about ministry is uncooperative people.
• 70% of pastors are grossly underpaid.
• 80% of pastors' wives feel unappreciated by the congregation.
• 90% of pastors said ministry was completely different from what they thought it would be.
• Only 70% of pastors felt called of God into ministry when they began.
• Only 50% of pastors felt called of God into ministry three years later.
• 80% of pastors' wives feel pressured to be someone they are not and do things they are not called to do in the church.
• Over 50% of pastors' wives feel that their husbands entering ministry was the most destructive thing to ever happen to their families.

These statements of yours tend to corroborate my perception of your situation. Evidently there were other, psychological factors, which could be attributed to education, parental influences, various species of perfectionism, etc., which may have affected your understanding and practice of Christianity.

I wonder if if might not be a good idea to get a fresh start, from the ground up, and re-build your understanding of Biblical Christianity?

What brings you to this Christian board, Richard?

That is clear OG. He wants to "witness" to us.

The reason Christianity has been so effective is that there is the threat of eternal torture or death if you don't comply.

Now lets look at Pastors. You would think that they would represent the high mark of Christianity working.

Again, why does it have to be something wrong with me? Maybe it has something to do with Christianity itself.

Tried that too. I found out that you don't need to waste time making Christianity work.

I wonder whether there'd be value in starting a new thread in which you could tell us something about the faith you have now and how you've come to that, Richard. In many ways I'm in the same boat. I'm being told here repeatedly that the Bible is 'all or nothing', and yet there are parts of the Bible that are offensive enough (and I'm not talking about 'the offense of the gospel') to make me lean toward 'nothing'. But I don't want to go there, either. Is there something that can be salvaged as a faith that is Christian in essence but seeks the underlying truths of the gospel past some of what certainly seems like humans seeking Divine sanction for their own power and prejudice in the Bible.

Absolutely, unequivocally not true of the Christianity I know about.

It is not an easy job--but then again, all but one of Jesus' closest followers were martyred. Jesus said, 'Take up the cross and follow Me.' At the same time, the statistics you cite do appear to be focusing on negatives. NOt a balanced picture, necessarily, nor taking into account all relevant factors.

At this point, it would seem appropriate to take a close look at your understanding and experience of same. Could you itemize? Make a list of the elements of Christianity as you understand them.

Tried that too. I found out that you don't need to waste time making Christianity work. Its better to just do what works.

... there are parts of the Bible that are offensive enough (and I'm not talking about 'the offense of the gospel') to make me lean toward 'nothing'.

Well, I would say that many people have survived these activities with no apparent harm. And it would depend on how you see the consciousness of animals.

The only harm I see coming from these activities is shame and disease. And as far as I can tell shame is based on one's beliefs around sex. I would say that if you think its wrong then don't do it. And in practical terms the risk of disease would require a weighing of the risk versus benefit. And in that case it becomes a matter of poor choices, not morality. Because morality implies some greater harm beyond the results of cause and effect.

To me, the function of ethics is to reduce suffering. We have brains, so it seems that there ought to be a multitude of approaches to this. In terms of homosexuality I think it becomes an individual solution. I think we all need intimacy and each person is going to find connections in different ways.