In today's world there are a host of reasons that some people find it best not to marry although they wish to enter such a life together.

One thing off the top is $$$$ Finances. Some laws/agreements say that if you remarry, one would have to give up a guaranteed income or insurance.

One of my neighbors is living with her gentleman friend. Her first husband divorced her after he met a younger fancier woman. She is collecting a comfortable alimony. Her gentleman friend is along in years and if he was to die, there would be major financial hardships for her. Since she helped to put her husband through college and was married 35 years to the man before he bagan to wander....she feels justified.


In other situations there are chronic health problems. Or even children that fear that mom or dad is involved with a gold digger and they will miss out on their inheritance. While it would be wonderful to think that others share our same values, the tempter has his mitts in things all over.

While I am not saying that certain behavior is excuseable--it is not--reasons exist.

Perhaps I see and hear more since I live in Fl, but stories often cross my path each month. Unless a person is convicted by the Holy Spirit, the cannot nor will not see the occurance for what it really is.

And then there are those more mature who might like to be married but would lose all individual financial support by doing so.Perhaps the example cited above is one of these. Her alimony might stop if she were to remarry. Often the income of one party is not enough to support two.
At what point is it determined that "Living in Sin" is "Living in Sin"?

"At what point is it determined that "Living in Sin" is "Living in Sin"?"

At what point is it determined that it is not?

One point is that we are all living in sin. We live in it and participate in it.

I would point out this that Gregory quoted ...



I support the church doing this. Why? Because we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. We have no business withholding the water from those who desire to follow our Saviour. Turning one away due to 'holier than thou' judgmental reasons ... would only be a dis-service to the individual and to God.

Well I'd rather not step on this merry-go-around but...


Gospel light.
It seems light is the popular term in everything that has to do with less fattening foods. Light salad dressing , light margarine, light peanut butter. To make something light you leave certain things out and substitute. Less oil, more water. Less sugar, more artificial sweetener.

Some would like to do the same with the gospel. The terms are different but the concept is the same. Away with anything too heavy (obedience) and in with something lighter—like love and forgiveness (grace). By tipping the scales away from a balanced view you get gospel light.

Much of the professed Christian world have accepted a concept of Christian living that puts most of the emphasis on forgiveness of sin, acceptance and God’s understanding; all elements of grace. But the idea of needing to change out thoughts and actions to conform with a set of divine rules for living has often been relegated to negative territory called legalism.

What’s left is a gospel that includes forgiveness but does not require any conduct change. The emphasis is on relationships—and while having a relationship with Jesus is all important it is not something to be lift open to personal definitions. Gospel light is a carefree gospel with none of the sacrifice of having to change my lifestyle.

Trouble is, It does not exist.

While God is loving forgiving and merciful, and does want a close relationship with us, He also understands the nature of sin rather well. The heart of sin is selfishness, everyone doing what pleases themselves with little thought of how it impacts others. After Jesus forgives our sins he calls for us to make changes in our thoughts to harmonize with His (Romans 12:2).

Changing our behavior is hard work. It means denying ourselves some earthly pleasures, giving up some things we hold dear and at time being very out of sync with people around us (Romans 7:24). That is the full gospel that builds spiritual heavyweights.. It is a lifelong process of change made possible by the holy spirit—a process called obedience and sanctification (Ephesians 4:22-24). It is just as impossible for God to have a heaven of joy and peace with everyone doing things as they please as it is to have a peaceful earthly society without rules. I pay taxes according to the amount that I choose, I pay utility bills according to my own rates. I even drive by my own rules, knowing that the judge will always understand my excuses and forgive the fine. I steal a little, curse a little, lie a little, and commit a little adultery. Since the Law of God no longer applies to me, and I am under grace I am always forgiven, and there are no negative consequences. Sound ridiculous? Yet, this is exactly the philosophy I hear from some Christians.

Here is the Truth.

And now, just as you have accepted Christ Jesus your Lord, you must continue to live in obedience to Him. Let your roots grow down into Him and draw up nourishment from Him so you will grow in faith, strong in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all he has done. See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and from the evil powers of this world, rather than on Christ.

What constitutes a marriage? Isn't it two people in love, living together, sharing a full relationship including the sexual? Is the white dress and the church and the few thousand dollars really what makes it a marriage?

I think a lot of the problem that we're discussing here is not so much with a distorted idea of sex but with a distorted idea of what marriage is and means. The step is a huge one, but the point is that it should be emotionally huge and huge in relationship terms, not a huge financial burden.

If we worked toward (a) smaller, simpler, more deeply meaningful weddings and (b) much more support for marriages both pre and during, then there'd be a lot less of these hassles and issues. Most of the financial issues cited above are due to second and later marriages... if we worked hard at getting first marriages right they wouldn't arise.

Not trying to be utopian, but trying to look at the real question asked from a slightly different perspective.

Amen on the smaller simpler more meaningful weddings.


oG

Commitment.

How do we demonstrate that to each other and society? By a legal marriage. Why would two people not want to get married? Because they do not want to commit. Other examples I have seen listed here involve fraud. So is it ok to live in sin so a couple can defraud someone else or the government out of money? I would say that would be living in double sin. It would make the sin greater, not less.

Agreed. I was not arguing for less commitment, but more. What I *was* suggesting is that many of the impediments to marriage (other than those you accurately characterise) are not about commitment but about money. And that's just wrong. So we need to find better ways to do legal marriage that don't cost an arm and a leg.

Oh, and find ways to incentivize (!) marriage: or at least to avoid disincentivizing (!!) it. That is, apart from fraudulent situations, a person should not be made worse off financially by marrying.