I've never actually had that clarified and I'm wondering how the church deals with the subjects of divorce and remarriage, especially. Thanks!

It varies extremely widely.

It is open for interpretation.

I could give you my personal interpretation but then that would not do you any good. The terminology used allows for a lot of different interpretations.

Best to just study for yourself.

But if in doubt ... I will tell you that God does not favor divorce under ANY circumstances. So, do you want to do what is best? Or do you just want to compromise? That might be the question for the person who is in this situation. And I am not saying that you are personally. But I think the Bible is clear that divorce is never what God would want. Divorce under any circumstances is a compromise with God. It does SO much damage that we can't even see.

Edit: I realize that there are severe situations. I think in some of these that the answer is separation and prayer. Then when things have been solved through prayer ... you can get back together. Just my thoughts.

The Bible says divorce covers our garment with violence. It doesn't get high marks in the Word.

Those who have broken the marriage vow prior to Christ are doing what comes natural - the works of the flesh. That changes after we come to Christ. A Christian ought not divorce & remarry. The Scriptures are clear on this point.

Paul pins our ears back with one sentence. "A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes" (1 Corinthians 7:39).

Jesus: "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

To those who have transgressed this sacred covenant, I have a measure of sympathy. Healing is needed and available from the Lord. But God gives no permission to marry another, unless adultery has broken up the marriage. Even then, the highest ideal is forgiveness & reconciliation. See Hosea..

To those who might be struggling in their marriage: Take heart. There is hope. God CAN SAVE any marriage if they are willing.

To the pre-maritals among us: Choose wisely. And treat kindly. If you implement the Biblical principles of marriage you WILL find happiness and freedom.

People who divorce or separate, are casting aside the greatest tool for character refinement -- a gift from God Himself. There is hope.


"Oh, I just married the wrong person..!" Nope.

The problem in your marriage (and mine fifteen years ago) is the unresolved issues that each partner brings into the relationship. The problem is not your spouse.

The question is. Are each of you willing to resolve the spiritual issues that are keeping the relationship apart?


Go do the right thing..


oG

Olger, you almost brought tears to my eyes. You touched me with those wise remarks. Every marriage will hit a few or more bumps on the road. Mine had its share, but whenever I was tempted to give up, God's word kept ringing in my ears, "I hate divorce!"

But perhaps our friend's question is: What is the church's policy on those who have already gone through divorce.

Gerry

Dick Davidson headed a study committee in 1998 to see if the Bible allowed divorce for abandonment. The conclusion of the scholars was "No." Our church's position has been that "adultery only" is grounds for divorce & remarriage.

I know people who choose to live single after divorce and are happy & fulfilled. My sister is one of them.

oG

Before the SDA church came up with policies and a creed, they just said "The Bible is our creed and policy".

Or something like that...

When it came to particular issues, the Apostles said the Law of Moses would work those things out:

Acts 15:21 For Moses of old time hath in every city them that preach him, being read in the synagogues every sabbath day.

So what the law of Moses says, would apply today. Like this one for instance:

Duet. 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house.
24:2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's [wife].
24:3 And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife;
24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that [is] abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance.

A good pastor might refuse to marry you, in a situation like that. In fact, I would hope he would.

So what is the Church's policy on marriage and divorce if a person who marries a non-SDA, but who is a christian, but is now not living together? Didn't paul said that (paraphrasing) its better to remarry if a person cannot live alone, than to burn....

A believer recognizes Jesus the Christ as the final expositer of the Word of God.

Heb 1:1 "God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds."

Jesus "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."

The only safe course for a Believer is to live by Biblical principle. God makes it clear that reconciliation is His highest ideal (see Hosea). If husband & wife both resolve their bitterness towards each other, and whatever other issues they have, they can find joy and peace. This will bless the children and many others. If the other spouse is not willing to reconcile, you can pray for them and demonstate 4-BIBLICAL qualities. That may change them over time.

Praying about your situation,

olger

What other alternative is there if reconiliation and or counseling does not work. Does not the Bible says not to be un-equally yoke? Wouldn't staying together does more harm than good?...I think (personally) you'll be losing your focus in life,in trying to live right in seving God. Husband and wife living apart in seperate homes,seperate states, tends to create situations that definitely would raise your eyebrows.

Point to ponder......If the church only allows divorce in a case of adultry,then many people will be commiting such act just to get a divorce, just to get away from their spouse....which in its self adultry; is wrong(breaking your wedding vows,disobeying the ten commandment).Then who is going to marry who...an adulterer and an adulteress? wow...talking about beaten with many stripes.....

I have a little more of a liberal view. (I hope that word is not too inflammatory for anyone).

I do not believe it is sinful for an Adventist to divorce a nonbeliever (Ezra 10:2, 3). Paul qualifies his comment in 1 Corinthians 7:13 with the phrase, "if he be pleased to dwell with her" thus indicating if he is not pleased to dwell with the believer she would be allowed to divorce. I have seen many cases where the husband makes fun of the Adventist believer, watches TV on Sabbath, drinks, smokes and simply cannot be described as being "pleased" to live with an Adventist spouse. He is a stumbling block to her faith. I have also seen the reverse where a non-believing husband was supportive of his wife's faith and would respect her honoring the Sabbath and other practices of her faith. A person married to that type of non-believer should not divorce.

Shane...you may not be wrong...paul also says " if the unbelieving depart, let him depart...no one is under bondage, but God has call us to peace. 1 Corin 7:15.

On the contrary, Shane you appear to not have a liberal view but rather an Old Coveneant view of marriage. Applying the passage in Ezra 10 to Elsworths situation overleaps several clear statements of Jesus Himself, who affirmed the permanance & creation ideal of marriage.


Malachi 2.
God H A T E S Divorce. Because:

1) Divorce covers ones garments with violence.
2) Divorce damages your spirit (v. 15)
3) Divorce deals in treachery
4) Divorce is driven by pride

Psalm 73:6

A woman told me this when she was about to get a divorce: "I spent much of my life doing things that God dislikes, now I am going to do something that He hates...?" Her and her husband were reconciled and now they counsel people in marriage. God can save any marriage and as He does He also gives them a ministry to others. This is needed in our world.


best regards,


oG

I have seen some terrible marriages where a back-slidden Adventist marries a non-Adventists, often times a non-Christian and later returns to the church. The non-believer scoffs at her rebirth and does everything they can to prevent the reborn Adventist from practicing his or her faith. Often times children are involved and the unbelievers makes fun of the believer and his or her beliefs to the children.

I have a very difficult time advising people in that situation that divorce is not an option that should be considered.

I guess you could try prayer.

If you want to know the official church stance, it is in the church manual (download at http://www.adventist.org/beliefs/church_manual/index.html).

To respond to elsworth's concern, the church does not believe that the person who committed adultery has a biblical justification to remarry. It is the "innocent spouse" who is allowed to divorce their unfaithful spouse and remarry if they wish--based on Matt. 19:9. (This is the church position, but some would argue it's not fully biblical given the fact that Jesus in some places condemned divorce and remarriage with no exceptions. However, it is supported by Ellen White's writings. See the compilation "Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce," which you can read at www.whiteestate.org.)

Paul's statement about marriage to an unbeliever in 1 Cor. 7:12-16 is that the believer should not initiate a divorce in this situation, but if their unbelieving spouse initiates the divorce, they may have to accept the breakup of the marriage. The point is that staying married to the unbeliever may result in the salvation of the spouse and children. Peter also makes this point (1 Pet. 3:1, 2).

Excellent, Rach..

You've touched on the reason why I inquired about the SDA church's stance on the issue. I pray that no one is in the situation being talked about, but it is a point to think about: If you are both christians, and yet cannot reconcile (sample reasons as to why this may happen: dry spot in your lives spiritually speaking, not far enough in spiritual understanding to comprehend the significance of the issue, etc..). What would that couple do? What if both or one of them would like to be married but they feel unequally yoked and can't seem to reconcile?

Of course the ideal is that they simply bite the bullet and reconcile, but sometimes people simply don't. Yet, at the same time, while they're hearts are hardened, they still have need for a spouse as a helper and as a friend. What can they do?

Hard questions to ponder, I guess. :)

One question might be asked is "Do we feel we have a RIGHT to be married ... no matter what the circumstances ... just because we WANT to be?

Do we have a RIGHT to be 'equally yoked' just because we want to be?

I do not read the passage the same way. Certainly that was not what was happening in the days of Ezra. I do not interpret "if he is pleased to dwell with her" as saying "if he doesn't initiate a divorce." There are a lot of guys that just want their wife to cook for them and give them sex. As long as she does that they will not initiate divorce. That is more true historically than perhaps in modern times. To me, "pleased to dwell" implies that he allows her to practice her faith. He isn't belittling her, insulting her or trying to cause her to break her religious commitment.



If the unbeliever is "pleased" to live with the believer, I agree with that.

Shane said:

"What God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." I would be VERY hesitant to recommend divorce ever. I never do.

I only recommend separation if they are about to kill each other.


regards,

oG

I would say that the words "let not man put asunder" are pretty serious ... comin from God.

But then we get to the question of whether "God" joined a believer with a non-believer. In Ezra's day, did God join Israelites with pagan wives and later command them to divorce them? I don't think so.