My adult son walks out of the worship service.

Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do.
And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with
– even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department.
Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently. Romans 14.1: The Message

You are not logged in. [Log In] unOFFICIAL WORLDWIDE ADVENTIST FORUM » Forums » Main Discussion Topics » Townhall » My adult son walks out of the worship service.

Page 2 of 5

Topic Options

Rate This Topic

#21643 - 01/12/05 05:44 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: ]
Sid Registered: 09/27/04 Posts: 1241 Loc: CA	Quote: Deal ... too bad you don't live nearby, we could go together! I agree, I would like that
Top

Visiting any ads that interest you helps to pay for our ads

#21644 - 01/12/05 06:17 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: lastsupper]
Nicodema Registered: 11/22/03 Posts: 777 Loc: Beyond your grasp	When was the last time you went? Just if you feel like sharing ... _________________________ "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot
Top

#21645 - 01/12/05 07:08 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: ]
Sid Registered: 09/27/04 Posts: 1241 Loc: CA	Quote: When was the last time you went? Just if you feel like sharing ... I'd love to share. Thanks for asking. Last Sabbath was the first time in several months. Over the past 9 years, I pretty much stopped going. But now having surrendered my life to Jesus, I really want to start going on a consistant basis and find a church that I can contribute to in some way. It's funny, I never really thought going to church was that important. I always thought I could just do my own bible study (which often ended up being code word for sleep). It wasn't until I started reading the bible again, and other books like Purpose Driven Life, where I realized how important church is...not just for me, but for me to help others with whatever talents I may have. I know a lot of people will benefit from your talents Nico, (and I know they already do here manifold). If we don't go, people will miss out on our gifts.
Top

#21646 - 01/12/05 07:29 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: lastsupper]
Nicodema Registered: 11/22/03 Posts: 777 Loc: Beyond your grasp	My first inclination would be to say "it works better that way" -- meaning it works out better when you go to church with the attitude of seeing what you can offer and contribute rather than seeing what you can "get out of it". But the fact of the matter is, that sometimes isn't true. Sometimes going with that attitude can only end up making it worse. You get all geared up to make a contribution, to make a difference, to be part of things, to share your talents -- and instead you get shut out, rejected, blocked. And other times, well, it's not their fault but mine. My afflictions get in the way of my "gifts". I find in order to get along with other people I end up having to do all the work, while I'm the one least capable of handling all that, least able to bear the stress. I don't assimilate well into groups, not much of a "joiner". I tend to think if we are all there to contribute something then that means me too, and that's usually where the trouble starts. Right at the spot where I expect to be treated like everyone else. I only have these kinds of problems with church people and office-type/workplace people. Two places where you can't just pick your own crowd, you know? When I hang out with "my own kind" I'm fine. Of course, I'm ... well let's just say "my own kind" consists primarily of first-degree relatives. LOL. But not entirely so. I'm tribal by nature so I'm always adopting strays ... _________________________ "After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot
Top

#21647 - 01/12/05 08:18 AM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: ]
Sid Registered: 09/27/04 Posts: 1241 Loc: CA	You've been through a lot Nico. I can't even imagine. I speak about theory, but in reality, I'm a naive patronizing idiot, who really hasn't done jack. I feel bad that you were afflicted. It's not fair. I think I understand what you are saying. You're right, we are all different and have different niches of serving according to our personality, make-up, etc. I will take things one step at a time, and feel-out/experiment to find out how I may serve best, not how I think in my mind I should serve. I understand a little more about where you're coming from. Would love to hear more about your thoughts on this.
Top

#21648 - 01/12/05 05:56 PM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: sweettrini]
Kimberly Registered: 04/13/04 Posts: 118 Loc: Ca.	One thing I really don't like in SDA churches is that all the kids stay during the service. One week recently they had "Children's Church". My kids loved it so much more than sitting in the pews and coloring and trying to stay awake! The church should have the kids go to their own "children's church" every week! This also makes for less noise during the sermon! My kids are used to the Sunday churches having Sunday school, so I think Sabbath churches should have Sabbath school for kids during worship time! This would be alot less hectic. I think Mormons also have their kids with them during church...it's just too noisy. Kids need their own time together to worship. Do you really think they get much out of the adult's sermon? Kim
Top

#21649 - 01/12/05 08:40 PM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: Mark Aurelius]
Jeannieb43 Princess of Pasadena Registered: 12/29/01 Posts: 2591 Loc: California	Quote: ...it's just too noisy. Kids need their own time together to worship. Do you really think they get much out of the adult's sermon? Kim Hi Kim... This is a great question. IMHO, the children will model their behavior on that of their parents. I've seen parents bring their children into the pews with lots of "toys" [coloring books, dolls, etc.] and then begin to focus totally on the kids -- instead of focusing their own attention on the sermon or the music or whatever's going on up front. Then the kids become the center of attention and never learn to sit quietly without expecting a lot of attention. On the other hand, it's obvious if the parent prepares the child beforehand what to expect, then if the parent is totally absorbed in what s/he's hearing from the preacher, the child will look up, see that that's the thing to do, and will go back to amusing himself quietly. If you don't allow the kids to divert your attention (more than instantaneously in an emergency) from the worship service; if you sit near the front where other, less well-behaved kids aren't bothering you; if you engage your kids along with you in standing, kneeling, singing from the hymnal, etc.... THEN the kids learn to sit quietly, and maybe even start listening to the sermon themselves. As they get older you can give them paper and pencil and let them mark down every time they hear the word "Jesus" or "angels" or "prophecy" or something like that. This keeps them alert without making them necessarily required to understand every single nuance of the sermon. It works! Start out by sitting in the front of the church, and devoting your own attention directly on the service itself. The kids will soon learn to follow suit. The only exception to this is if they start to cry or make a disturbance. Then, the child must be removed from the sanctuary as quickly and quietly as possible, both for his own sake [training as to what's acceptable behavior in church] and for the sake of the other worshipers. But after he's been properly reprimanded outside, then he is returned to the front pew with his siblings, and the parent goes on worshiping and does not pay any further attention to the now-corrected child. _________________________ Jeannie ...Change is inevitable; growth is optional....
Top

#21650 - 01/12/05 09:12 PM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: alisha]
Anonymous Unregistered	Quote: The only exception to this is if they start to cry or make a disturbance. Then, the child must be removed from the sanctuary as quickly and quietly as possible, both for his own sake [training as to what's acceptable behavior in church] and for the sake of the other worshipers. Amen.. This is why we sat at the outside edge of the pews...for the quick escape..and only had to do it once with my kids. I was outside before the pastor finished his sentence.
Top

#21651 - 01/12/05 09:44 PM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: sweettrini]
Kimberly Registered: 04/13/04 Posts: 118 Loc: Ca.	I understand how you feel, but howcome the SDA church has the children in the church instead of having their own separate time with other kids? Just curious...is it because they feel the children belong with their parents? This weekend we are having Children's church, so it will be nice, in my opinion. Kim
Top

#21652 - 01/12/05 10:42 PM Re: My adult son walks out of the worship service. [Re: ]
Neil D Today, I ain't for sale. Check back tomorrow. Registered: 08/10/00 Posts: 13252 Loc: Ca., Id, Wa., Or. or somewhere...	Quote: Basically I think it is a matter of context. I am able to process people saying those kinds of things because I have a context for it which is founded in an understanding of God as a reasonable and compassionate all-wise, all-loving Supreme Being. But to someone "outside" the Spirit looking in, those kinds of statements can sound very bizarre and outré indeed, even "certifiable". And it's hard to describe to them how to parse that stuff, especially when we are talking impressionable 16 year olds who are really sensitive to everything going on and expressed around them, at the height of the age range where they are suspicious of adults and adult motives, particularly toward themselves. I concur that context is necessary for full understanding of the statement. Not too many pastors would go into a Bar to have a cool one with the guys. Mainly, the problem is that of perception. What's a pastor doing, going to a bar? Maybe a form of evangelization that he is trying out...After all, Jesus was known for being a winebibber...Why cant a pastor, not drink an alcoholic drink, but hang out with the guys who do at the bar? It might be a revelation in how to create a new kind of SDA church... However, there are several people who come to the SDA church, according to my observation, who have just plain strange ideas...iradology, food fedishes, insistances of the church as a whole doing certain practices otherwise "the Lord will never come"....People who are unbalanced whose tendancys to extremism is somewhat flaunted, insistances upon the law, or upon some form of righteousness by faith, I am sure that you know the type of person that comes to mind....These are the ones that come to MY church...for whatever reason, I don't know, but they come to be heard and when they feel that they are heard, they melt into the sea of people.... Quote: I'm not 100% sure I dissociated actually I did wonder.... Quote: We don't have a youth pastor. It's a smallish church. The pastor is new (last June). He's busy getting acclimated and settled. A little too busy. No, I've not spoken with him. I don't think I've even been back to church since that time. The past autumn was a blur for me. I don't remember much of it at all. Autumn tends to be like that, and I tend to isolate myself for that reason. Now that it's over I've been thinking of going back to church again but having not gone for awhile I feel awkward about it, and I'm not sure where I want to go. I hope that you do go back...You do bring balance to the forums here, and I am sure that you would bring balance to your church. Quote: I wouldn't even know where to find a cell group, and I doubt one would want me even if I did. I don't care if someone else invited you to thiers,....You KNOW that mine would welcome you [IF I had one! ] and you would definately affirm and be affirmed from it. Nico, don't you let the adversary take from you the assurance that no one would want you. We do want you here... and in my cell group, if I had one _________________________ Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. George Bernard Shaw
Top