Hello to Wings4ana

well Wings I wrote you at the for sale forum.

But I will pray that you make a wise decision.

some pastors are just busy. I would keep trying
at the SDA church just let it be known that you
want to help the next time you are at the SDA
church.

hope this helps

your friend and brother

DGveggie50

thank you for your prayers they are helping i will go back so sda church. i think I was too busy complaining and not seeing that i was just lke wrong. The Lord is faithfull in any cirmustances I have to learn to be faithfull to him and not the people from church but love them just Jesus loves me....

thanks to all of you ... God is good becuse i found you all you where all great blessing...

Dear Ana, you are just expressing something that unfortunately happens in our church the world over.

I have had the same experience recently. It is very heard to 'break in' to some church communities.
It should not be like this, but churches are made up of people, and people sometimes feel threatened when a new member comes along. They think they might loose 'their' job! So they don't include you.

It is the same with me. I love working in Sabbath School.

Why don't you approach the SS Leader and offer to take a Mission News, or maybe say a prayer.
Leaders are always hard pressed for people to help out.

Arrive early and greet people as they arrive. You don't have to be on the door to do that, just hang around the foyer.
Use your beautiful smile, it will pay dividends, and the church will discover they can't do without you!

I call my Pastor the invisible one! Many of our Pastors have far to heavy a workload.
If he is on the e-mail, send him a message that you are praying for him!

Stay positive, you will be rewarded.

Another thing I do is look around the congregation and see who is lonely, ignored, needs some encouragement, maybe not well.
Sometimes I leave a little note on their seat, or a flower or 2. They don't know who does it, but they really enjoy receiving it.
There are many ways to break into a church community. It's hard going, I know, but God will show you.

Sorry I am so late in posting. I think it is really good that you were able to share this experience here instead of giving up and going away to a lonely place.

I am very sorry to hear that you had a bad welcoming experience as the SDAs.

I think that you should definitely write a very well thought out letter to the church and tell them what they could have done better to make you feel more at home as a new member. If they don't know that they have done something wrong they can't do anything to fix it. Just think how many other people might be slipping throught the cracks. Perhaps you could ask for a way to become involved in the welcoming committe.

I had the most wonderfully positive welcoming at my new church. But I was still very aware that it would take TIME to get to know everyone and feel more included. I don't think you can expect too much too soon. People need to get used to your face.

Ana -- and Mark/Restin --

You need to be pro-active!

The best way to get acquainted is to invite two or three people over to YOUR house for Sabbath lunch. And to do it at least once a month, with different guests each time. This can be done spur-of-the-moment right after the church service, or it can be done a week ahead of time, or by telephone during the week. Just tell them you're having soup and salad and hope they can join you! and then DO it.

There's no need to make a big spread, or to have a fancy house/apartment, in order to have a lovely fellowship time around the dinner table. Just one big pot of soup or a casserole-type hot dish (which can be made ahead and reheated while you munch on celery and carrots), plus a tossed salad. That's all it takes. Some bread and butter are nice, and a brownie for dessert, with some fruit punch or mineral water to drink. But making it simple gives you time to VISIT. And Visiting is what it's all about. You may learn that your guests are VERY INTERESTING PEOPLE. (Of course they may not be, either--but at least you'll be able to call them BY NAME afterwards.) And if you don't appear too needy -- just let guests talk about themselves, and be interested in THEM -- you'll soon have a wide circle of friends in the church.

Being elected to a position of leadership in the church comes later. You have to be there each week, in the pew, on time..... and speaking to the ones you meet as you enter. Then you'll be asked to take up the offering, or something. And soon you'll begin to wonder how you were ever lonely!

God bless.

Hi Gail! I just want to make one point here that I have already discussed somewhat with you last night. It is that when people like Ana express their disappointment about the lack of concern or love in the church, instead of helping them understand why it is that way, we feel sorry for them and right away we try to re-assure them that they don't need to feel that way and then we make a few suggestions as to what they should do to fix the problem. I am not condemning this per se. I am sure the motives and intentions are noble and good but I believe the Lord would have us take an all-together different approach, an approach Laodicea has always had difficulty accepting or recognizing for what it is!

How can we help each other? By telling the truth!

The Lord says that, as a people, "we have not responded to the unmerited blessings that He has bestowed upon us. That we are a people who pride themselves in their possessions of spiritual knowledge and advantages!" outch!

See what I mean! We don't like to hear that kind of "stuff" because it hurts our pride or whatever! right? We don't like to hear the Lord saying to us that as a people "we have resisted His grace, abused His priviliges, slighted His opportunities, and have been satisfied to sink down in contentment, in lamentable ingratitude, hollow formalism, and hypocritical insincerity." outch, outch outch!

Now that is a hard pill to swallow! to say the very least of it! especially when some of us are not able to handle pills too well! You know, when you need to take a pill and you start gagging and you just can't get it down your throat!

I know that sounds so negative what I have quoted, but actually it is not! God's warnings and admonitions are the expression of unutterable love! By accepting the rebuke we are that much closer to a blessing from God who is full of love of mercy!

Need I continue? Just read the whole page for yourself in 1 S.M. p.357 and over to page 358. Study these two pages carefully and just tell the Lord that what He has said is the truth even if you don't understand why He says it because He never errs. You will see that it will do you an awful lot of good just to confess that what He says is true no matter how irksome it may sound to you!!

Try it and you will see! There is a blessing hiding behind His rebukes if we humbly accept them and rest in the merits of the Savior, accept His righteousness and believe in His mercy!

God bless you all!

P.S. Gail! I want some feed back from you!

God created us as human beings. Not human doings.


It saddens me that many have offered a 'solution' as get in there and do something in leadership, get a job, be useful.
When Jesus was on this earth, he did not expect people to perform doings before he befriended them. He ate, chatted, laughed and made friends with people where they were at.

Our church has been expert at expecting people to believe (and do things) first, then welcoming them into belonging. If people were made to feel welcome and belonging in a community, then they are more likely to believe because they have seen the difference that belief makes.

I pray that our communities become so welcoming and friendly to newcomers/visitors etc, that people like Ana will not have to post on the net their hurt and disappointment.

Ana, I hope you are part of a loving christian community now, even if it is the online one here at club Adventist.

Greetings Ozgal, You said that

In reply to:

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Our church has been expert at expecting people to believe (and do things) first, then welcoming them into belonging. .......

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There was a time some years ago that I would have agreed with you with out question.

However, God blessed me with having to be in a position of going to Churches in different areas and having a choice. I could quietly slip in and sit alone, shake hands with the Pastor and a couple of people and escape. By the time I would get to my car I felt worse than if I had never attempted to go in the first place.

Then, I realized that going to Church is no different than one of my sales calls, and I don't have to be a leader or involved to do it.

If I am calling on a new client, I put on my brightest and best smile, extend my hand (or if the feeling strikes me take hold of their upper arm) and introduce myself. Then I continue as if I have known then my whole life.

At first it was really, really hard because I tend to be introverted and insecure. (Think it comes from growning up 'way out in the country, living in a small town and attending a small church during my early years.)

Now, I take a deep breath, walk into a new or my church that I am able to attend sometimes. Grab the hand or arm of the first person I see, if they don't know me - they will - if they do I tell them how good it is to see them. Either way, I wish them a Happy Sabbath and tell them how very happy I am to be there.

Then I walk inside and look for the largest number of women sitting together. I sit down and began saying my Hello's and Happy Sabbath's, and what a beautiful dress, etc.

It wasn't easy to start to do, but God gives you the courage. If you want a friend, be a friend. Reach out .......

I'm sure, some of them may think I just escaped from the local institution. But, who cares (ROFL), even if they are friendly because they are fearful not to - they are friendly and I leave feeling a part of our World Wide Church and the Family of God.

We can't wait for them to find the way - we have to be willing to show them the way.

Okay, Laval- you asked for it!!!

I think there is much value in what all have posted here. The trouble is that we are all speaking from our own personal experience and seeing the world through our own glasses. There is nothing wrong with that! The more input, the better, I think! I do not know Ana's church members, I don't know Ana- all I know is what I have gone through myself.

Myself, I tend to be like Naomi- just get right in there and start talking to whomever is around me! I can smile for the most idiotic reasons and get a blessing from the service, simply because I go to church to fellowship with the Lord. I think I may be more independent than some, but it works for me. I am very happy where I am. I find church refreshing!

I understand what you are saying, Laval, but I am not sure I can apply that reason universally to all believers. I know many people who I consider spiritual people. We are Laodicea, yes, but instead of focusing on our own shortcomings we need to encourage each other to focus on Christ. When we ask the Holy Spirit to come upon us and take hold of God's promises to lead and heal us, I do believe that He will. God is well able to guide His trusting ones.

If one discerns that the church members we are coming in contact with are not with us on that point, we can go ahead and do it ourselves. I feel that God will provide- I have seen it- and the Spirit may very well move upon us to bless others with the heavenly atmosphere that He has provided to us. God draws- we are to be vessels for Him.

That is just my way of handling this situation, and like I said, it is probably different than how others do it, which is okay. We are all learning. Some church atmospheres DO seem dry and lifeless, but Christ is not.

I would like to restate my desire that Ana finds a home with us on Clubadventist if she cannot within her local church. There is more than one way to share and communicate with God's people. I hope that she can still find some support and fellowship here.

Laval- are we still friends?

Hey, church isn't a building or an institution. You need to have Supportive loving Christian fellowship, so go where you need to to get that need met.
If you feel good there, get the support you need, they are a bible-believing people of God, and they meet on the day you choose to worship on, then what more can you ask for? Maybe you felt good there because that was where God wanted you? Ask God about it, pray for Him to show you which place is right for you. He won't steer you wrong!