I don't know if it is mental illness or demons and I'm tired of trying to figure it out. Nothing works, the pills don't work, the prayers don't work, nothing works and I'm so tired, so so so so SO TIRED.... All i know is it has been going on since 1983 and I want to be free, I am tired of being tortured constantly, please God just make it stop. Just please make it stop. Let me at least have a chance, a fighting chance, to serve You. If I am going to be lost or saved anyway does it really matter? What purpose is there in letting me be tortured like this constantly? It can't be punishment for having served Satan because I never served him till this all started and he made me. I never wanted to be with him, he seduced me. I just want it all to be over, once and for all, please set me free, permanently, I just want to be a normal person and have a normal life and a normal mind the way You intended. God You know I don't have the courage to kill myself so please just end it for me one way or another and make it fast please make it fast.

I'm always praying for you Nico. Hang in there.

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}} and prayers, as always.

M

((((((((Nico)))))))))

don't know the answer...will keep praying that the answer will find you...

hang in there don't give up

aldona

May the power of God, through our Lord Jesus Christ at whose name every knee shall bow, be felt strongly in your soul at this time.

Dear Father, please hear our cry joined together with our sister Nico's, for deliverance from Satan's power. Forgive us of all sins that separate us from You as we cling to Your robe of righteousness

You are our Deliverer... and for this we thank You and praise You

Nico, Oh Nico... it ends, hon, I promise. It ends. Nico are you praying the armor of Abba daily?

Nico, I have a friend who was taught not just to serve satan but to channel demons... it was a fight but deliverance and His promises are sure and true. Nico it takes time, unless True Jesus does a sweep and sets all the captives free.

But the fact you can CHOOSE to stand for Abba Father and be covered in the blood of the Lamb... is huge ... huge.

Abba,

I stand in agreement with Nico, requesting as Your daughter deliverance from the torment Nico experiences. Abba, I stand in agreement, united in faith that Nico chooses to be Your Child. Abba, I bind Nico to Your mercy and grace which is new every morning. I bind to Nico's mind, the helment of salvation, which protects her mind from the lies of the evil one. I bind to her chest, the breastplate of righteousness. We thank You for the righteousness You so graciously provide, for we have none of our own. I bind to Nico, the belt of truth. Let her walk in Your truth, grow in Your truth, speak Your truth, and believe only in Your truth. Thank You Jesus that You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life for us. I bind to Nico's feet the shoes of the Gospel of peace. Let her walk comforted in Your peace, as You continue the good work in her, to completion as You have promised. We thank You Jesus that You are the Prince of Peace, and that as joint heirs with You, we inherit Your peace. We long also to be peacemakers, that we may be aclaimed the children of Abba.

I bind to Nico's arm the shield of Faith which quenches the fiery darts of the wicked. I thank You Jesus that You are our helper and shield, and that the Psalmist made it so clear. I bind to Nico's hand the sword of the Spirit, the Word made flesh. I thank You Jesus that You are our sword. I bind Nico's heart to Your heart Jesus, that she wields the Sword with compassion and justice, for it is sharper than any two-edged blade. I bind Nico to all these aspects of Jesus, the Lamb who takes away the sins of the world. I bind her to the certain knowledge that not only were Your stripes for healing all that was done to her, but also for all that was done by her.

Jesus wash her mind in the sea of forgetfulness. We so often forget that it is there... Just as You forget, once You accept us and we accept You, help Nico to forget so the torment leaves her. I bind Nico to the work of the cross and the crucifixion of self, that she may receive all that You died and paid for. Thank You that this has already been done, and that all that remains is the walking out of the path You have ordained for Nico. I bind her to receiving the blessings You have for her, I bind her feet to the paths of righteousness, and I loose her feet from any path You have not ordained for her to walk.

I bind Nico's emotions to the peace, joy, comfort, and counsel of the Holy Spirit, and I loose Nico from the emotions of fear, desperation, despair, and sorrow. Fill her with the Joy of the Lord, to be her strength.

Thank You for Your blessings. Give Nico peace which passes all understanding. Help her to know in her knower that You are her all in all.

I stand united in agreement and in faith with Nico, Father. I remind You of Your promise that prayers prayed united are more effective and powerful than prayers prayed alone. We accept the truth of the power of agreement, we accept the truth of the power of words, and by these words and Your promises, I affirm the truth of this prayer, and the truth of her redemption.

Abba, as Your beloved Daughter, I stand and ask, knowing that You have already given, already begun the awesome work You are completing in Nico. I bind a hedge of protection around Nico. Please seal it with True Jesus blood, place Your mighty warrior angels around it, that none may enter save approved by Jesus or the Holy Spirit. I stand in the gap Abba... as promised... till none are lost or captive. Set the captives free, Jesus!!! Set them free! For this is the time of Your coming, of Your Will in the earth. Now is the time and I am eager to see Your Will.

I ask this Abba, in the Name of Jesus, the Son Whom we both love, for this precious wounded child of Yours. Bathe her wounds in True Jesus blood, bind them up, heal them, assure her she is no longer an orphan, but a daughter of the king.

Amen.

Nico... You might want to consider a mikvah... it's a healing reversal for some of the things that happened when you served the adversary.... It will help set you free from some of the issues you are struggling with.

Check with an orthodox Jewish congregation in your area, ask for mikvah instruction and see if they will allow you to use their mikvah. If not... let me know... there are other options, that's just the easiest to accomplish.

Clio

(edited for spelling)

I think you are God's channel Nico. You help me out in so many ways, and teach me many things about Him. I see real fruit from you. You have so many insights. I'm so glad I've met you here and I continue to pray for you, we need you.

Nico -

I can understand, perhaps better than you think. What you describe is one of the levels to which illuminati slaves can be brought to, even without the generational conservation of occult energy in their DNA.

In other words, anyone can be made to become what you describe, but you have to be BRED for thousands of years to become a mother of darkness. My friend who I am currently studying with and counseling was a MoD.

Nico... how I wish I were closer and could study and counsel with you. You are quite correct when you speak of spiritual parasites. My friend and I often refer to them as "leeches". They are low-level demonics attracted to the "break" in your soul.

Let me see if I can explain clearly. We have our physical body.. the first shell. We have our soul - mind, will, emotions - that is like a crystal dome over our spirit, or how we interact with Abba and the Lamb. Sex magick takes advantage of a universal spiritual principle relating to these three parts of us.

In the Bible it is outlined as the laws against spiritual immorality. Christians see is as a fundamental list of "don't's". There is a real good reason for it... and you are sensing it. When a person engages in sex, at the moment of orgasm, the two souls touch, and thin, and things can be exchanged. Abba planned that it would be between a man and a woman, bound in holy matrimony, blessed by Him, and they would exchange holiness, becoming ever more one with one another and with him.

The adversary, knowing about this universal spiritual principle, has caused his dark siders to use it and the sex magick his side created to power occult rituals and ultimately power the revelation of the Anti-Christ. It is at the moment of orgasm that demonic entities can be layered in to unwitting individuals, or even the participants. This is a basic skill taught to all sex magick practioners who will be used in rituals. But even if no deliberate layering of the demonic entities takes place, the soul "dome" is damaged by the misapplication of the spiritual principle... each and every time.

When this happens, a "crack" is formed. And leeches... low level demonic entities, attach themselves... and start feeding. They feed on the spirit within. If left unattended, they will eventually break through to the spirit and start feeding from the inside out. You are sensing them as parasites because you were trained to know them and so are senstive to them. Parasites is a very good term.... very similar to our leech analogy.

To get rid of them, as Jesus brings to mind each instance, do not wallow in guilt, immediately pray something like this:

Jesus, I recognize that you are telling me I need to specifically ask Your forgiveness for this, and turn away from it. I choose to turn from it, repent, and ask forgiveness. I know there are leeches on me, and I cannot remove them of myself. Wash me clean in the Blood of the Lamb, slain from the very foundation of the world. Remove these leeches Jesus, take and do with them what You will. Help me to accept Your forgiveness and Your promise. You have said You came to save, not to condemn, and there is no condemnation in You. I accept this.

Amen.


((((Nico)))) *safe hugs for you* You are not alone... nor are you an orphan. You are an accepted Daughter of the King, and He's trying to tell you how to get past this....

Clio

Mikvah.... Hmmmm

I'm not as clear on it as I would like to be for myself... having never completed a mikvah ceremony. It is an orthodox Jewish ceremony to move one from ritual unpurity to ritual purity.

When my friend and I reached a point in her healing journey where she was no longer triggered by the Jewish holidays, (long story there)we independently of each other become convicted that what we needed was a mikvah because of where we had been. Neither of us felt baptism was sufficient.

Turns out, after extensive research, and much prayer we were correct.

A mikvah is the forerunner of baptism, and for most Christians, unless they have a background like yours, or like me have stood in the gap for an extended period of time for someone with generational curses in their life, or who has been picking off leeches with Jesus help, is not required.

A mikvah can only be done in primal waters, or in a specially constructed mikvah tank that is constantly replenished by primal waters. A mikvah is not a bath... in fact, prior to mikvah, the person should be as completely clean as it is possible to be. Shaved legs, trimmed and cleaned nails, washed hair... etc.

Then they should walk naked into the mikvah, and submerge themselves totally in the living water. Even their hair must be submerged. Rise up, pray and acknowledge Abba and the Lamb and the Holy Spirit, bless them with all that is within you. Do this between 3 - 7 times, listening to the Holy Spirit within you, and praying.

Contemplate the spiritual principle of Jesus being the living water, understand you are submerging yourself in the very symbol He used to describe who and what He is to a dry and thirsty land. Accept the joy that wells up in you.

I have learned that we, as SDA's truly do perish for lack of knowledge. I am in the process of learning about and applying the spiritual principle of Passover mercies... there is something special there, and Abba has confirmed it. I am pleading it for the life of my son.

I know the mikvah is another such principle... the only reason I have not completed one myself is that the nearest mikvah pool is 300 miles away, and the streams, rivers, and lakes are still frozen here. But it will be soon.. Abba is preparing my spirit, and it leaps within me as I tell you of this.

Clio