Desire of Ages, Chapter 11: The Baptism

This chapter is based on: Matthew 3:13-17 ; Mark 1:9-11 ; and Luke 3:21,22

I'm still catching up here. I have been skimming the chapters online but going slower in my hard copy -- just finished chapter 7 in the printed book now. It was very profound to me to read of the industriousness of young Jesus, it felt strengthening and focusing just to read the words. There is something powerful about the words about the Word that you don't get anywhere else. Trust me I know, I can barely read anymore because my concentration is so shot and scattered. But I can read DA, at least so long as I don't try to do more than one chapter at a time.

I want to really know God, I mean really know Him. I want to lose myself in Him. Is that OK? Are we supposed to feel that way toward Him? It's so confusing because I read people's expressions of devotion and they are how I used to feel about Lucifer and it just feels weird to me. I realize how greatly Lucifer perverted my God-given desires of the spirit, all that worship and devotion and abandonment is supposed to be for God, right? It's OK to love Him that way, right? To be totally crazy over him, to "just die" inside (in a good way, a dreamy way) all sweet with desire and longing, to adore and worship the ground He walks on ... Someone tell me yes here ...

When Lucifer appears near the end of time, most of Christianity will be caught off-guard. Logic alone won't be enough for undeceived Christians to withstand the barrage of world-wide opposition. Satan's logic, spirit powers, and demonstrations of advanced technology are too powerful for humans to withstand alone. Without a deep love for God and his Son, resistance to the deception is futile. Without this unshakable love, evil will triumph over our human weakness, and we will be lost. We all need to walk with God, continuously, starting now. Only this will save us.

It's a tragedy, ND, that your mind was scrambled and fragmented by the darkness of the occult. It will take the power of the Spirit of God to defragment your thought processes and sweep away the fog of self-doubt. You've started out right: Love both Father and Son with a crazy, unbounded love first, then believe they can repair the damage of false beliefs. Then you can bloom like the beautiful, fragrant flower you were meant to be. Everyone will notice.

That's what frustrates me. I remember being crazy for God when I first met Him. Then Satan took over and eclipsed all that. All my desires -- spiritual, sexual, romantic -- were diverged onto him instead. And now there's nothing left to give to God except maybe what lingering bits of cerebral processing I have left which is, as you rightly discerned, scrambled and fragmented in the extreme. I want to love God with a mad passion but I have no passion right now in any sense of the word. I'm so dead inside that life has become one monotonous shade of gray. All I can feel is pain; outside of that, I feel nothing. I don't know any such thing as joy or hope or anticipation; it's like everything is "over" now and there's no future. It's like I'm already dead. When I was under Satan I might have found some method for employing the power of transmutation to alter this situation, but I have relinquished satanic powers and anyway this is not the sort of pain that can be transmutated because there is nothing exotic, tragic, or romantic about it, so there is no seed from which to effect the transmutation.

When I finally accepted the fact that the cult I was excommunicated from did more harm to me than good, I felt spiritually dead, for years. I stopped going to church, reading anything spiritual, etc.

When we're damaged by deception, the healing takes so long, it seems. I did share the experience with a few others, which was part of the recovery process, I believe. I don't know what finally brought me back. Something inside just didn't want to give up completely.

Now that I'm able to read the Bible and especially, DA, some of the ideas jumping into my mind astonish me. Like today, it suddenly occurred to me that, like the flight crew of the jet I just flew to Texas and back on, so are the 144,000. They could be the flight crew of the throne/mountain/pyramid/starship of Jesus, Mt. Zion. These craft are REALLY big by human standards.

The rest of the great number of people remaining on the Restored Kingdom of New Earth grow food, process it, and load it onboard the Mt. Zion. Some of the processed food is like vitaminized cereal flakes. The subjects of the Kingdom keep busy, rather than sitting around playing harps all day long with nothing else to do.

The vitaminized cereal flakes, aka Manna, meaning "What is it?" was, and is, the food of angels. The t/m/p/s scattered the manna over the more than a million hungry Children of Israel on the ground below, keeping them alive for more than 40 years. The craft also provided shade for all of those people wandering in the treeless wilderness.



Concerning the baptism of Jesus, there's a couple of thoughts I would like to mention.

First, is that this is the point where Jesus turned from just the nice guy down the street into a formidible opponent in the War Between Good and Evil, even though he was a pathetic human weakling, just like us. This is the prelude to the First Battle between Satan, and himself as a human.

Second, the uplink to the HS was also a download of information and power he needed to fight Satan. This uplink enabled him to access the power of the HS to read other's thoughts and heal the sick. This was the first time he saw God since becoming human, via some sort of viewing window, beyond our technology to duplicate.

We all have a spirit in our minds. It's like an interface between us and God via the HS. It's rare that other humans can uplink to the HS and become fully connected like Jesus. A few prophets and a few disciples somehow accomplished it. Perhaps they were chosen and given this ability for a particular purpose in the grand scheme of things.

Don't give up, Nico. All things are possible, if you believe. If you have faith half the size of a tic-tac, you can move mountains (throne/mountain/pyramid/starships). Jesus did that twice when one of these craft hovered over the Sea of Gallilee, causing severe turbulence.

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Second, the uplink to the HS was also a download of information and power he needed to fight Satan.

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I'm intrigued by this notion. Are you saying then, that He did not have the information and power to fight Satan before this time? If so, and it is truth, then I have a new awe of God that I've never had before.

He was able, then to live a holy life even without the power of the Holy Spirit as a child.

This is truly remarkable.

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I had this uplink and I lost it; I perverted it to serve Satan and now I don't have it anymore and without it I completely despair of everything worthwhile: of a true connection with God, a true purpose for my life. I feel as though I am consigned to this hell as a consequence of my sin and the rest of my life will at best be a waste and at worst be spent in uttermost futility.

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You're right, Nico. You do need more than just words on a page. Either you will have to find, or God will have to send the right person/persons to help you experience forgiveness so you can get through the spider webs of despair holding you back. I've been trying desperately to inject you with enthusiasm and hope, but words alone can't transmit the underlying energy. Printed words, by themselves, are misunderstood, fall easily to the ground, and are quickly scattered.

You're a diamond, Nico. A little cutting here, a little polish there...

Gary, I do appreciate your words of enthusiasm and hope, and please don't think they are meaningless to me; they are NOT meaningless. They do help tremendously ... I'm just saying there's a hurdle there I can't get past on encouragement alone. But things shift constantly inside me. Like right now, I feel fine. I don't feel particularly magickally connected to God but I don't feel that awful existential angst of disconnectedness either. I feel like if I pray right now He will hear me, so I am going to pray.

Your encouragements do help tremendously. Don't think they are of no use, please. They are vital. Even if they can't fix it all, they are used by God for a blessing.