Here is a link that gives some great links regarding this sensitive matter.
http://clubadventist.com/ubbtreads/showthreaded.php/Cat/0/Number/192246/an/0/page/0#192246

Hi Pam,

I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. I sensed twisting inside me and a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes as I read your thoughts. I can't imagine what you're going through. God will bless you my sister, God will bless you.

My wife, Denise and son, Lee Michael and I will pray for you and your family when we have family worship.

Oh Lord hasten your return, this world is so painful to so many and we need you!

In Christ,

Norman

I read your story and letter to Kyle with tears. I can not even imagine the pain which you feel.

Please feel free to come to Club Adventist anytime. We are here for you.

You will be on my daily prayer lise and I have marked Dec 11 with special prayers for you.

Yours in Blessed Hope,
Naomi

Every time I read this my heart aches...

THE TIME HAS FALLEN UPON ME, IN A FEW HOURS IT WILL BE 20 YRS AGO AT 20 I HAD MY ONLY CHILD. IT ASTONISHES ME THAT MY SON HAD NOT EVEN MADE IT TO A FULL 20 YEARS. I HAVE A PICTURE OF HIM ON MY DASHBOARD AND THIS EVENING SITTING IN THE ALBERTSONS PARKING LOT I FELT THOSE HARD TO BREATH BREATHS AND THE DENIAL THAT KYLE IS GONE. . . IT'S NOT SO, PLEASE SOMEONE SAY IT ISNT SO ! !

I TRUELLY DONT LIKE THE TRUTH, I CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH, THAT IS WHY I HATE IT AND WHY IT SCARES ME MORE THAN ANYTHING.

I CANT EVEN OR WANT TO THINK ABOUT TOMARROW...ALL WHO READS THIS PLEASE PRAY FOR MYSELF AND FOR MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND WHO HAS REMAINED STRONG AND HAS BEEN GRIEVING IN HIS OWN WAY WHILE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND MINE. (kyle is my husbands step son)

GOOD NITE KYLE !
I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH.
LOVE, MOM

My dear sister, it was so good to talk to you on the phone last night. You sounded encouraged as your siblings all contacted you yesterday to give you strength and love. I am glad that with all this pain, you can see and appreciate the blessings of your family and your friends, and your new friends here on Club Adventist. Peace and blessings to you my dear sister Pam.


Now I want to give a huge thank you to all of the friends here on CA for encouraging Pam and reaching out to her. It is a great blessing to her as she receives messages from you and as she checks this thread every morning!

Blessings and thanks,
Tony

Pam I am glad your family was there to help during Kyle's birthday. We continue to pray for you. The whole year after a loss will bring these days to be faced - the first birthday without him, Thanksgiving, Christmas etc. Maybe when the second year comes around you will be able to say, I have faced this once, I can do it again - but for now the journey is a day by day one. God bless you as this Sabbath comes.

HELLO EVERYONE,

IT HAS BEEN QUITE AWHILE SINCE I HAVE BEEN HERE TO WRITE ABOUT HOW I AM DOING, HOW THANKGIVING WENT W/O KYLE.
I AM HAVING DIFFICULTY FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS FOR THE EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER I'VE BEEN ON.

THANKSGIVING I WAS VERY SAD. I STAYED IN BED TIL EARLY AFTERNOON. I FINALLY FOUND MY WAY OUT OF THE HOUSE TO TAKE KYLES GRANDMOTHER A THANKSGIVING DAY CARD AND A BOUQUET OF FLOWERS. PULLING UP IN FRONT OF THAT 2 STORY OLD VICTORIAN HOUSE SEEING SOME OF THE PEOPLE THAT WAS ONCE MY FAMILY STILL SEATED AT THE TABLE OTHERS WALKING AROUND VISITING W/ ONE ANOTHER, FROZEN. . . REALIZING THAT KYLE WAS NOT IN THERE, THAT HE WAS NOT SEATED AT THE TABLE THIS YEAR. HAVING DIFFICULTY DRAWING IN A DEEP BREATH I STILL GOT OUT OF MY CAR, WALKING UP THE STEPS, BEFORE MAKING IT ACROSS THE BIG OLD WOODEN PORCH HOPEING ...PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, OH PLEASE LET THE FRONT DOOR BE OPENED BY MY HANDSOME SON, HOLDING A BIG PIECE OF WHITE TURKEY MEAT IN HIS LEFT HAND. THE DOOR DID OPEN. I HANDED KYLES UNCLE JEFF THE CARD AND THE FLOWERS AND ASKED HIM TO PLEASE GIVE THEM TO KYLES GRANDMOTHER. I WAS INVITED IN BUT POLITELY DECLINED WITH TEARS IN MY EYES,

PUTTING A PICTURE OF KYLE IN MY POCKET BEFORE BEING SEATED AT THE TABLE MADE ME FEEL A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE. THRU DINNER I REMINDED MYSELF HOW MUCH I HAVE TO BE THANKFUL FOR HOPING THAT WOULD EASE SOME OF MY PAIN. I REMAINED QUIET WHILE WE ALL ATE, SCARED THAT IF I SPOKE I WOULD BEGIN TO CRY AND THAT I WOULD FINISH EATING FASTER BEING ABLE TO EXCUSE MY SELF FROM THE TABLE..

THE FOLLING DAY I TOLD MYSELF THAT YESTERDAY WAS ACTUALLY TOLERABLE, THAT I DID VERY WELL.

I WENT BACK TO WORK ON THE 30TH, ONLY PART TIME, DECIDING I WOULD TRY IT. MY EMPLOYER HAS GIVEN ME KYLES BIRTHDAY OFF AS WELL AS THE DAY BEFORE AND THE DAY AFTER. DAYS ARE GETTING CLOSER I WILL BE HERE WHEN THEY COME UPON ME.


KYLE MY SON,
YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND THAT YOU CAME BEFORE NOTHING OR NO ONE. EVERY BREATH I INHALE AND EVERY BREATH I EXHALE I AM THINKING ABOUT YOU...I LOVE YOU !!!
LOVE, MOM

Dear Pam,

I just wrote you a five-paragraph reply, and then lost it when I bumped the wrong button on my computer. But please know I cried inside when I read this post. The first Thanksgiving without him was a difficult holiday. But you made it through. That's the important thing.

There'll be a lot of Firsts. The First Christmas without him will be here in a few days. And you'll make it through that one too, if you plan ahead. I always make it a point to plan ahead so that I'm with friends or family on the difficult anniversaries or holidays.

You'll make it. Each day will be a little less painful. You'll never forget him -- but Jesus will never forget him either! That's wonderful to remember.

God bless.

Pam. thank you for having the courage to express your deep and personal feelings here. We continue to pray for you, that you will be strengthened each day to meet the challenges you will face.