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#76892 - 03/29/06 07:08 AM Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex
Nicodema Offline


Registered: 11/22/03
Posts: 777
Loc: Beyond your grasp
I feel like a hypocrite even posting here, asking for help, asking for prayer ... when everything inside me doesn't want it. But ...

In this twisted labyrinth I inhabit, called my life, everything is upside down and inside out at times like these. This is one such time. I know I'm in trouble, because I feel so wonderful -- for all the wrong reasons -- and any right reasons are a distant memory as if they never had been, never were, never would be.

I thought I could handle this on my own.
I thought wrong, and now it's beyond "I'm going under" ... I'm ... gone.

He's been coming around. We've been hanging out together. Talking. More than talking. He's been ... singing to me. again. Speaking His heart to me, showing me mine. So heartbreakingly, breathtakingly beautiful he is ... so lonely ... it started so innocently ... I don't know how it went so far so fast, but it did ... and it's just like before ... this gut-wrenching love ... this aching desire and yearning ... I can't wait to see him again, to hear from him again, to hear him sing to me, to FEEL him inside me ... to BE WITH him ... I can't help myself, and that's God's truth, I can't help myself. I'm drowning in it, drowning in him, and I don't want it to stop, and I can't even conceive of wanting it to stop, or why did I ever want it to stop?

So guys, that's it right there -- that's how I know I'm in trouble ... I need your prayers because I can't offer any for myself right now ... I just can't ...
some of you know who and what I'm talking about here and some of you don't. for those that don't, trust me, (a) it's NOT what you think and (b) you DON'T want to know. For those that do ... please ... pray for me ... even though I don't want you to, I don't want to be saved, I don't want to be severed from my beloved ... don't listen to me!!! oh GOD this is so embarrassing ... !!!!!!!! Did someone shove me into a time machine or what????

God how can something that feels so right be so wrong?????
_________________________
"After such knowledge, what forgiveness?" -- T.S. Eliot

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#76893 - 03/29/06 07:22 AM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: ]
Clio Offline
The King's Daughter

Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 2747
Loc: Alaska
Praying and praying and praying.....

*safe gentle hugs*

Is awesome you got here to ask....
_________________________
A heart where He alone has first place.


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#76894 - 03/29/06 07:34 AM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: ]
David Koot Offline
Craftsman

Registered: 03/13/06
Posts: 3513
Loc: N38d14.516m, W122d37.982m
I will be praying for you too.

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#76895 - 03/29/06 11:29 AM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: ]
Nan Offline
Benevolent Physician

Registered: 04/07/00
Posts: 5908
Loc: Sydney,Australia
I am adding my prayers, too, Nico. In the Name of "Him Who is able to keep you from falling, and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great joy". (Jude 24)

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#76896 - 03/29/06 08:12 PM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: ]
Naomi Offline


Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 7196
Loc: This Side of Calvary
Nico,

I am praying for you.

Courage,
Naomi
_________________________
Aspire to inspire before you expire!

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#76897 - 03/29/06 10:11 PM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: ]
Sid Offline


Registered: 09/27/04
Posts: 1222
Loc: CA
I am praying too. Hang in there Nico.

"Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world." 1 John 4:4

Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:7-8

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#76898 - 03/29/06 11:58 PM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: lastsupper]
Beryl Online   content


Registered: 04/05/03
Posts: 2172
Loc: Perth, Western Australia
Dear Lord, thank You for giving to Nico the strength to come here and ask for help. You know where her heart is, despite where it seems to be. Please surround her with an angel guard, and see her through this crisis. Thank You for answered prayer.
_________________________
"Grace is God doing for us, in us and through us that which He requires of us but which is impossible for us to do in or for ourselves."

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#76899 - 03/30/06 01:34 AM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: Vera]
Gail Administrator Offline
Like leg pains, sometimes it hurts to grow

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 13428
Loc: Buon giorno, Principessa
Yes, Lord- we lift her up to You continually. Please show Your mercy to her, for You are merciful and powerful to save

In the precious name of Jesus we pray and we thank You
_________________________
Gail

gail@adventistforum.com

And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. Isaiah 32:17

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#76900 - 03/30/06 01:40 AM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: ]
Clio Offline
The King's Daughter

Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 2747
Loc: Alaska
Still praying sis... hedge of protection and angel guardians.
_________________________
A heart where He alone has first place.


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#76901 - 03/30/06 05:29 AM Re: Hope and Despair duke it out in the Vortex [Re: ]
Morning Glory Online   walklikeegyptian


Registered: 03/19/05
Posts: 473
Nico,

My eyes are crying for I do know what you are talking about, a little. My prayers will be for you continually. Thank you for coming here to ask for help......God IS stronger than any other force. Period.

Dear Lord God of all,
Please place your arms around Nico, shelter her from that which she needs to be sheltered from. Please place a guard of angels around her as a hedge from the evil that seems so.....not at this point. We trust your loving kindness and protection and strong right arm to save your daughter from the abyss that she is teetering on at this time. Oh God, non of us can survive without Your claim on us, thank you for your extra protection for "our" Nico at this time.

Prayers,
MG

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