Let's Talk is a program broadcast on Hope TV. I don't know if one of these programs are made each year and just continually rebroadcast or exactly how that is done. I know one was recorded at Andrews and another at Oakwood.



This evening I was watching the one done at Oakwood and when the students were asked how they would like to see the church change a couple mentioned that families need more help in raising kids and keeping marriages together. Pastor Paulsen was of the opinion that while that is important, it needs to be dealed with on the local level.

I don't see that most local churches have the funds to hire a counselor. I think it needs to be done on the conference level. If we are going to do something like that, a counselor should be assigned to a certain number of churches and each church should have a family ministries director that works with the counselor to promote family health.

Christian Counselers have their place. yet not all families experiencing difficulties require counseling. Often the thing the family needs most is just some TLC which can be done on the local level.

Young parents could use a free babysitter from time-to-time to have a quiet evening away from home and family.

Newly single people need to be included in all church activities. Often it is difficult to get back into church and other activities after a divorce. Especially when they know there is a lot of private discussion concerning what they should or should not have done.

I was visiting a church a couple of years ago and the pastor asked a middle-aged lady to come up front. There in front of God & everyone he put his arm around her and said something like this, "Sister ___ needs our love, prayer and emotional support. Most know that she has experienced a devastating divorce and feels insecure in her place in the church and in life. WE are her family. Let's do what families should do and be there for her."

At the end of the service, I noticed that many people went to her with a smile and hug.

By doing this the pastor wisely brought it out in the open leaving no room for individual speculation. I suspect that she is still in the church and active.

Naomi

I don't know how many local churches have a family ministry. However these famiily ministries directors should have a qualified counselor as a resource. It only makes sense for Conferences to employ at least one counselor and pastors to recieve more training in family issues.

Shane,

I agree that the pastors should receive more training, and perhaps ongoing refresher courses in psy and counseling.

I do not agree that we need to have a family ministry in all churches. I do like the idea that there are so many specialized ministries going on today. OTOH, I sometimes wonder why we require so many titles, special interest groups, etc.

BTY, what happened to the members of the church caring for their brothers and sisters: Just because it is the right thing to do. Have we become so organizationalized that we have become dehumanized?

If each Conference spent the additional revenue necessary to provide a qualified counselor as a resource, that individual would probably be so overwhelmed that they would require a personal, full-time counselor! :) A counselor is not an ultimate solution, in any situation. I have friends who are PhD's and do counseling, my son-in-law is a Christian Counselor they are caring and sincere but like anything/one else; not perfect.

We must as individuals get real and take responsibility for our lives and actions. Ideally we should be involved enough with our local churches to know if someone is having a problem. If we approach them not with unsolicited advice which IMHO is abuse; but with a loving caring attitude, much could be done to help families and singles.

If we don't learn to care for ourselves and each other now, what will happen during the "time of trouble?"

Just my 2-cents

Naomi

If a conference hired a qualified counselor it wouldn't be to provide counseling per se. That would be too overwehlming, obviously. It would be to oversee or be in charge of the family ministries division of the conference.

I respectfully disagree about individual local churches not needing a family ministries. The family ministries would not be a counseling service or an addictions/rehab service. Although it could act as a bridge between members that need such services and those in the community that provide such services. There are many families that do not need counseling but do need instruction on how to raise children, how to organize a household, how to react to each other, how to prioritize relationships, how to pay bills, etc.

I will argue that it is more important to provide guidence to families than it is to understand Daniel and Revelation. Which does our church focus on more?

:) Shane when I read the above statement the first time my reaction was "what in the world are they doing married with kids?" But, I suppose the answer is obvious.

And, I agree that there are many families who need help in their day-to-day life. Certainly as young people we all knew every answer and did not/would not take instruction from anyone.

(The example I am going to use has caused many Board Meetings to burn the midnight hour. and much gossip and anger in our churches. I know it to be true.)

It just seems to me that if most parents become offended if the Pastor or Church Elder ask them to take the child into the cry room, outside, or at least stop the kid from running up and down the halls and/or making loud noises in the services, how would they react to a ministry of the church telling them how to organize their household, react to each other, pay bills, etc.?

That seems extremely sensitive and personal and should probably be better received if advice and instruction was given by a parent, relative or friend ... hopefully from the church.

Many would say that I certainly could use some help in organizing my household, but I don't think I would respond well if Brother & Sister X&Y came and gave me suggestions ... nor would I go to them unless I was going to jail or something and wanted immediate help. But, perhaps, that's just me.



I probably should just pass on this because any answer either of us may provide will eventually result in a no-win situation; a mute point.

Families can go to any city or town in our nation and receive free or limited fee-based guidance counseling. If they desire guidance, and put forth a little effort they can find it. Heaven only knows most put forth a lot of effort to find other things.

Other than to our Churches, where would they go to understand God's Word? The Food Banks etc will feed their physical body … who will feed their souls?

We are our brother's keepers and as fellow believers and members of the church, it should be every person's pleasure and duty to help when a family is in need.

Most churches have a lot of loving, caring people who will gladly use their resources if they are aware of a need or desire.

Bottom-line, I am taking the long way around to say that you don't to have a ministry title, or be organized to help families who require help. I am not saying it is wrong to have one, I am saying that not having one is not a reason for not helping those who require assistence. If they do need help in paying their bills, training their children, etc., but are not receptive, there is not a lot anyone can do except pray

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drank!

Naomi

Dr. James Dobson has made a very successful ministry doing exactly that. Ideas??? Incorporate instruction into sermons. Don't make it personal. Frame it in a general context. Record counseling programs like "Marriage from the Heart" and play it for vespers and discuss it afterwards.



Tonight's episode of "Let's Talk" was recorded in Brazil. I don't know how old it is.